My All
by InvaderPixy
Summary: J K Rowling never said that Lily and James loved each other...DID she? once i get 5 reviews im posting the next chapter! this story is finished but not all posted


My All  
  
Warning: If the idea of problems between Lily and James troubles you, do NOT read further, as you will hate this story  
  
-Chapter One-  
-Past-  
  
I am thinking of you  
In my sleepless solitude tonight  
  
-Lily-  
  
I am in denial. I cannot BELIEVE that has happened to me. I am caring a baby. It's James's, I'm sure, as he's the only person I've had sex with. But we broke up. Oh God, oh God, oh God. But I should start from the beginning.  
  
I'm Lily Evans, a witch. Yes you read right. A witch. I'm in my seventh year at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. My parents and sister are all Muggles, or non-magic people. I'm the only witch in the whole family, and they're all happy for me, besides my sister. Jealous, I expect. Petunia has always resented me, but she seems to hate me now. I was always kind to her, though. She's a skinny, bonny little thing, with the longest neck I've ever seen. She's not very pretty, and has never had a boyfriend, unlike me. I used to go through them like toilet paper. That's until I met James . . .  
  
Argh! I need to stay on topic. You need to understand my life before you can understand my whole story. Seven summers ago, Petunia and I stopped talking. It was her idea, not mine, and it bothers me. I mean, she's my SISTER. For God's sake, if you're own SISTER doesn't stick by you, who does? Certainly not James!  
  
Fine, I'll give in to me troubles right now. James. I love him, yet hate him at the same time. I hate him for hurting me, yet long for him to take me back. Of course he doesn't know that, Arabella makes sure of that.  
  
"Lily," she often tells me, "he's an guy. Plain and simple. Pretty soon he, like all guys, will notice they've made a mistake and take you back. And if he doesn't, to hell with him! You don't need a guy to make you happy! No girl does." Straight from the mouth of Arabella Figg, feminist.  
  
I need to tell SOMEONE about me and James. Someone who cannot offer advice. So I'm writing it down, so people can read, and it'll be a big load of my chest, yet they can't tell me what to do, so I'm not pressured. It all started Seven years ago . . .  
  
  
-James-  
  
I started thinking of her. I don't know why. I am kissing Kaia, and all of a sudden I'm thinking of Lily. Don't get me wrong: I love Kaia with my heart and soul, but Lily just slipped into my mind. I ignored the vision and went back to concentrating on Kaia.  
  
Lily and I are totally over. I used to love her, but then I met Kaia. Funny, sensitive, sweet, fun Kaia. She talked when I want advice, is silent when she knows I want her to listen. She tells me everything on her mind, and I tell her the same. She and I belong together.  
  
Lily would always make the conversation about her. If I were depressed, she'd try to cheer me up by telling me good stuff that happens to her. Either that or she tries to make her life seem more depressing than mine. Stuff like that pisses me off, even though I know she cares.  
  
I know Lily still loves me. Arabella told me. She cornered me in the hall going to Potions. "You," she told me, "are scum. Lily is in love with you, James, and you go off with that little slut of yours."  
  
"Slut?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. "Where do you get slut from?"  
  
She chose to ignore that comment. "If you don't take Lily back," she told me, "You're gonna lose something great. And you'll never get it back."  
  
I sighed. "Lily's alright, I guess, but I've never loved her like I have Kaia. Kaia's sensitive, mature and perfect for me. Lily's a great friend, but I don't love her anymore."  
  
Arabella made a disgusted noise and flew down the hall. She plowed into Lily and practically dragged her to the bathroom. Why is it all girls go to the bathroom to talk? I mean, it's an odd place to hang out.  
  
So anyway, I met Lily on our first train ride to Hogwarts. She was in a compartment with Severus Snape, who has become my enemy. I remember it like it was yesterday . . .  
  
  
-Lily-  
  
I had gone to the compartment with Severus because all others were full. He was kind and friendly, even if not the best-groomed person I've ever met. We had talked for a while before a boy our age had stepped into the compartment. He had messy dark brown or else black hair, brown eyes and he was pretty tall and skinny, but not unhealthily skinny, like my sister. His name was James Potter, and I was in love with him at first sight.  
  
Okay, I admit, that was pretty shallow of me, but I couldn't help it. I mean, there I was, with an ugly yet nice boy, and in walks Raul's twin brother (Raul's from my favorite soap). He saw us in there, and thought we were a couple.  
  
"Hi," he said, a bit uncomfortably. "I'm James."  
  
"Lily," I told him.  
  
"Severus," Severus replied, his eyes cold. I guessed he saw what I thought of James.  
  
"Well . . . I'll be going now," James said, and closed the compartment door behind him. I was disappointed, but let him leave.  
  
A few minutes later, the door opened again, and I was staring at yet another future soap star. Sirius Black was his name (as I soon learned), and he was the funniest person I've ever met.  
  
"Heey," he greeted us, making the "e" sound nice and long, arms outspreaded. "I'm Sirius Black, soon to be YOUR" he said to Severus, "new best friend and YOUR," he said to me, "boyfriend." He grinned widely. "How 'bout a hug?"  
  
I laughed and gave him a hug, just for show. Severus gave him the evil eye, but Sirius wrapped his arms around him anyway.  
  
"Get," Severed growled, "your nasty arms off me!"  
  
After an extra tight squeeze, Sirius let go. He sat between us and put his arms around both Severus and me. "Now," he said, "I'm going to leave to make more friends, but you two will always be special to me." He stood up and walked to the door. "Ta ta!" he called, and shut it behind him. I was laughing, Severus was scowling.  
  
"You thought he was FUNNY?" He asked me. He took my laughing as a yes. "He's just an obnoxious moron with just enough brains to fill a thimble."  
  
I stopped laughing and glanced at Severus. "How would YOU know this?" I asked.  
  
"I have my ways," he said, and left. I sat there, shocked, for five whole minutes before I left to find James and/or Sirius.  
  
  
-James-  
  
I remember Lily storming into our compartment. "James!" she exclaimed. "Sirius! I was looking for you two!"  
  
Sirius? I thought. How does she know HIM?  
  
"LILY!" Sirius yelled, and opened his arms to her. She hugged him, grinning, and sat next to me. Sirius was across from me, and my new friend Remus was on left side. Sirius looked shocked that Lily sat next to me.  
  
"I thought you loved me Lily!"  
  
"I do," she replied, "but there's no room for me next to you."  
  
"Yes there is!" He replied, appaled. He motioned to his left and cleared his throat loudly. We all laughed.  
  
"There's more room here," Lily insisted.  
  
"REMUS!" Sirius yelled. Remus was sleeping up against the window, but was startled awake by his shout.  
  
"Wa-what Sirius?!" He said, scared. "What happened? It wasn't my fault!"  
  
We laughed again, although he was only half-joking, I think. "You," Sirius said, "need to sit next to James now."  
  
"Why?" he asked, yawning.  
  
Sirius stared pointedly at Lily.  
  
"Hi," Remus said, yawning again. "I'm Remus. Who're you?"  
  
"She's Lily, you moron!" Sirius yelled and slapped his upside the head.  
  
"Fine, whatever, I'll change seats with her," Remus said, and sat on my other side. Lily looked reluctant to move.  
  
Sirius cleared his throat. He smushed up against the window Remus was lying on before. "Room," he said, pointing beside him. She shook her head smiling and sat next to him. He draped a friendly arm around her shoulders as I did a slow burn. I put their flirting out of my mind and we all started talking as Remus nodded off again.  
  
"I'm Muggle-born," Lily confessed to us. "My sister wasn't too thrilled about having a witch sister."  
  
"I'm full-blood," I told them, although Sirius already knew.  
  
"Half and half," Sirius said. "Mom was a Muggle. She died a few years ago from cancer."  
  
"Oh, you poor thing," said Lily, "living without a mother."  
  
"I DO have a mother, though." He said. "A step-mother. She's a witch."  
  
"Oh, well that's okay then. But you still must miss your mother," Lily insisted.  
  
"Ya, I do," Sirius confessed. "But I have two loving parents, so it's not as bad as it could be. Yet she will always be a part of me. I inherited her sense of humor." he said, and made his notorious goofy smile. Lily beamed back. My own smile faltered ever so slightly.  
  
Just then, a fat little boy poked his head into our compartment. "Hi," he said meekly, "I just thought you might want to know that we'll be at Hogwarts in a half hour, and that you should change into your robes now."  
  
"Okay then," Lily said. "I'll go find an all girls apartment."  
  
"No need for that!" Sirius said. "We'll shut our eyes!"  
  
She laughed. "Like hell you will, Sirius. I swear I'll be back."  
  
"If you don't come back within ten minutes," Sirius said, "I'll find you and chain you to my side. You won't ever get away again!" He said, and laughed evilly. Lily giggled.  
  
"'Kay then. Buh-bye." She walked out.  
  
-Lily-  
  
About five compartments down, I found one that had all girls about seven compartments down from ours. I walked in and shut the door. "Hi," I said, "I'm Lily what're your names?"  
  
It turns out, Arabella, Tamara, and Kathleen where in my year. Hanna was Tamara's sister, and she was in her fifth year along with Justine. And those where the girls in the compartment with me. We talked and joked while we got changed, and when I left for my compartment, Arabella followed me. Arabella was really cool. She was wearing all black, even before she changed. She had only black motorcycle boots and a black leather jacket that wouldn't have looked out of place on a Harley. She had on black makeup, too. Although I suspected her eye shadow to be a dark purple. But one word came to mind when you saw her: punk. But she was really nice, too. Arabella had a sense of humor I loved, and I could tell we'd be good friends.  
  
We got back to the compartment to find Remus barely awake, the others struggling to sit him down. He was fully robed. I guessed that they helped him change while he was practically unconscious.  
  
I took my seat next to Sirius, and Arabella was wedged between Remus and James. Remus, (after he fully woke up) turned to her. "Why hel-lo there."  
  
She stared at him, than put her hand on his forehead. "I see you have a fever. Before you do something you regret, like kiss me, go sleep it off."  
  
We all burst off laughing. Arabella, not knowing Remus's sleeping habits, knew that her joke wasn't THAT funny. She just gave a dumb ass smile and blew a bubble with her gum. Remus smiled at her, and draped his hand around her shoulders.  
  
Between the jokes and the flirting, we passed the time quickly. Before we knew it, the train slowed to a stop and people were getting off.  
  
"FIRS' YEARS THIS WAY!" Called a voice. We turned to see a GIGANTIC man, the biggest man I've ever seen. He had this shaggy, wild hair and a beard. He looked terrifying, though joyous at the moment. We got in the group of people all around him. He led us to these boats, and we all hopped in eagerly. Me, Sirius, James, Remus and Arabella got in one boat. Only four were allowed to a boat, so I hid under the seat where Arabella and Remus were sitting until we were out of the giant mans sight. I sat on Sirius lap and watched the scenery. Suddenly, I gasped, as did most other people around us.  
  
"THAT is Hogwarts?!" I gasped. The place was more of a palace then a school. It was the biggest and most beautiful building I had ever seen before.  
  
Everyone ignored me. They were also all staring at the gigantic building in front of us. We docked and climbed out of the boat. Pointing and staring at anything and everything, we were greeted in the hall by a female professor.  
  
"Aha. The new first years. I am Professor McGonagall," she informed us. "Welcome to Hogwarts. Follow me," she started leading us through the castle, talking while we were moving. "Now, we will sort you into one of four houses. Your house will be like your family within Hogwarts. The houses are Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff and Slytherin. Each has produced it's own noble witches and wizards. At the end of the year, we hold the inter-house championship, where we tally up the points given to you for good behavior and knowledge. Now, you will wait in here," she said, as she opened the door to a small classroom. We walked in.  
  
"I'll come get you when the Sorting is ready to start." She left us. I turned to James.  
  
"How do they sort us?" I asked. He shrugged.  
  
"I know," Tamara said, overhearing me. "Hanna told me. We just put on this hat and it tells you where to go." She giggled. "I hope I'm in Gryffindor!"  
  
I smiled at her. "I hope we're in the same house."  
  
  
-James-  
  
God, Lily knew everyone. I was wondering whom that girl was that Lily was talking to when Professor McG. came back for us. She ushered us into the Great Hall. I've never seen it before, but it couldn't possibly be any other room. The ceiling seemed to open right up to the endless heavens and it was light by hundreds of flying candles. I gasped, in awe.  
  
We were lined up in a row by the front of the Hall. The Professor brought out a stool with a hat sitting on it. Everyone stared at it. We did, too. The first years, I mean. Suddenly, a rip formed at the rim.  
  
"I'm the Hogwarts sorting hat,  
When you put me on, you will learn,  
I can see into your mind  
And tell you what house you will earn."  
  
"Look at all the people!" I whispered to Lily, who was standing next to me.  
  
"I know! There must be a thousand people in this hall!" She exclaimed.  
  
"Quiet!" Sirius hissed. "This is my favorite song!"  
  
We ignored his bad humor and continued talking. "What house do you think you'll get into?" I asked Lily.  
  
"I'm not sure," she replied. "I don't know them."  
  
I explained the houses to her, and she said she figured she'd be in Ravenclaw, because she was always good in school. I told her I thought I'd go to Gryffindor.  
  
"Why?" She asked. I shrugged. I couldn't very well tell her the truth.  
  
"Ackerman, Tamara!" A voice rang out, and it brought Lily and I back to our senses. Professor McGonagall was starting the Sorting.  
  
Lily smiled at Tamara as she passed us. She put the hat on her head, and it screamed, "GRYFFINDOR!"  
  
Sirius was another Gryffindor, and "Burns, William!" became a Hufflepuff, then "Conner, Harold," was a Ravenclaw. And so on.   
"Evans, Lily!" Lily walked up to the hat, and was dubbed a "GRYFFINDOR!" I smiled and cheered, glad that more then likely, Lily was in my house. Arabella was a Gryffindor, and right after here, Fletcher, Mundugus became a Gryffindor, also. Remus became another Gryffindor, along with the fat boy that came into our compartment, who turned out to be a Peter Pettigrew. Then came, "Potter, James!"  
  
I walked up to the hat and jammed it on my head. "My, my, my!" The hat exclaimed. "I've waited to meet you James. I think it's a bit obvious that you go to GRYFFINDOR!" I took it off my head and walked, beaming, to the Gryffindor table. By the end of the Sorting, the new Gryffindors all sat together. They were, Tamara, Sirius, Lily, Arabella, Mundugus, Remus, Peter, Kathleen, Rindy and I.  
  
I'll tell you what I learned from the dinner. Tamara was a total goof. She was always cracking one joke or another, but they were ones making fun of people. But kind insults. Like, you know, insults that didn't mean anything. She especially had fun making fun of Sirius. He did, too, for that matter. Sirius acted as zany as usual, except he was cracking more jokes then usual, probably because of nerves. He kept everyone laughing hysterically, especially Lily. Lily seemed pretty quiet, but she laughed like nobody's business. I swear, people at the Slytherin table could even hear Lily's laugh. It cracked us up even more.  
  
Arabella was also pretty funny. She made sarcastic remarks about anything under the sun. I swear. She made us laugh about mustard. Mustard! I swear, I am not kidding. Mundugus was making mainly sex jokes. They were funny, too. He has been through more relationships then anyone I know, so I made a mental note to ask him about how I could get Lily.  
  
Remus was tired, as usual. But we kept him awake. Barely. He was being nice to everyone and polite. He seemed scared that we wouldn't accept him as friends, and I had a feeling he had a secret. Like he was really a woman or something. But that was absurd. Peter was a moron. Seriously. A stupid idiot. He tried to fit in my joking, but his jokes, unlike everyone else's, weren't funny. Kathleen was another quiet one. She laughed and all, but mainly she giggled. You know that way girls giggle? That giggle that pretty much gave you the idea that she knew something you didn't? That's the kind of giggle she always used. Rindy was kind and quiet. And I was just sitting there being Jamesish. And, believe it or not, people got to like me. By the end of the meal, we were all stuffed and ready to sleep. We were shown up to our dormitories by the Head Boy, Nathan, and where given the password (Fairy dust). The second I lay down on my bed (which was next to Sirius's and across from Mundugus's) I was asleep.  
  
  
-Lily-  
  
At first I really loved Sirius. I mean, he was so funny and sweet and cute. James was nice and all, but we were just friends. The year flew by without many happenings, and by the time it was our second year, Sirius and I were an Item. The biggest Item in the whole second year. Our little group was pretty popular, although James and Sirius where two of the best known people in our year, and also in most the school. Remus came behind them, then Peter. Not many people knew Mundugus, though, but Arabella and me were at the very bottom. Wait, no, not the very bottom. Rindy and Tamara where at the bottom bottom. And Kathleen was at the very bottom bottom. Kathleen was sort of a gossip and a flirt. Although her technique didn't work right.  
  
By our third year we broke up. It wasn't a painful one, we were just better friends. In our fourth year is when James asked me out. My life was perfect from then on. James held my interest, made me laugh, discussed things rationally and loved me through and through. Severus also liked me, and resented James and Sirius for being funny and talented. He tried to get them expelled. As if that would make me like him.  
  
And in our sixth year, James and I started having sex. Then next year he broke up with me to go out with that Kaia bitch who transferred here from America. From there it was all shot to hell. 


End file.
